Remember the Time...

Remember the blog I wrote last week? Well, while many of you brought up some good points about olives, one of my good friends and fellow blog writers (www.olivemepost.com) asked a very interesting question, "Do you have any advice on how to forgive? What about when we are the black olive?"

You have probably heard the expression, "Forgive and Forget." It sounds good, right? It has a nice alliteration and seems simple enough. The problem with forgetting is that, aside from a major head trauma, we can't. We cannot forget. We may be distracted from the memory for a while, but we always carry it with us. So rather than forget, we often turn to repression or denial, which only takes us down an even worse path. So forget "forgetting" and lets focus on a different concept... remembering.

Throughout the scriptures, God consistently commanded his people to remember. He told the Israelites to remember their story and where they came from so that they would not become like the oppressors that oppressed them. 

Even Jesus tells his followers to eat their bread and drink their wine in remembrance of him so that daily we would remember the forgiving, loving, and redeeming nature of our God. It is in remembering that our story becomes larger, our lives transform and we stop repeating the same old mistakes.

Similarly, when we are hurt or offended, we must remember.

- We must remember who hurt us and why it hurt.

- We must remember the ways we have hurt others in the past.

- We must remember the times we have been forgiven.

- We must remember our whole story. (The good; the bad. The blessings; the hurts.)

- We must remember that everyone has a story, including the one who hurt us. (This doesn't let them off the hook, but it reminds us of their humanity.)

- We must remember who we were before the incident happened.

- We must remember who we have become as a result of this incident.

- We must remember that our bitterness has not once gained justice or a complete sense of satisfaction.

- Finally, for those of us who are Christians, we must remember how Jesus, as he hung on the cross, responded to the angry crowds by saying, "Father forgive them... they don't know what the are doing."

"... they don't know what they are doing." It is my guess that they and we never do... at least not fully. When I hurt someone with my words or betray another with my decisions, I am incapable of knowing how deep the knife cuts. Nor do I understand fully why I am saying or doing these things in the first place. So Jesus, in his kindness and understanding, forgives. Remembering helps us unlock our potential for kindness and understanding.

Remember, this is no quick fix. In fact, it probably makes things more complicated. But I believe "remembering" is the path to true forgiveness, where we may be capable of wishing our offenders well and at last be rid of the vile olives of bitterness. 

Olive Us Need Help!

I start off this article knowing certain things to be true. First, when writing a blog, I have the ability to declare some fairly bombastic ideas and invite you to think similarly, but, at the end of the day, these ideas are just my opinion. You have full permission to dismiss or argue against any and all that I have written or will write in the future. Second, sometimes in these overly confident digital mutterings, I may write something that you disagree with so strongly that you find yourself offended, hurt or even angry. Please trust me when I say, "I mean no harm." I am simply hoping to introduce you to new thoughts and even expand your mind.

That being said... black olives are the most disgusting food on the planet and we should be appalled by the way they can totally hijack a meal and cover over any other flavors that may be struggling to be noticed. (Take that, olive lovers!)

Look! Like little bugs invading your amazing pizza.

Have you ever had a slice of pizza with olives on it? You would know. You would know because you would remember what it is like to see pepperonis, cheese, sausage, bell peppers, and other delicious ingredients on the slice of which you are about to devour only to find your mouth riddled with the flavor of olives.

What happened?! Like a playground bully, the olive went around to every other aspect of the pizza and scared the ingredients into the fetal position. The pepperoni paralyzed with fear. The sausage quietly staring at its shoes. The peppers beat up and shaking in the corner. These olives have claimed their territory and the craziest part is that you cannot just get rid of the olives. The removal may help a little, but the olive juices somehow work their way into every nook and cranny of the slice. The pizza requires a complete renewal.

Stop it, Olives!

So here is my point: Olives are flavor bullies that taint and obscure what could be the makings of something incredible.

On a related note, have you ever met a person who is unwilling to forgive? The person who cannot and will not let go of his or her anger and bitterness? Have you noticed how this tends to have an impact on every other aspect of their life?

Jesus had this crazy idea about forgiveness. He said we ought to forgive, forgive again, and then forgive some more (Matthew 18: 21-35). He said if we are unwilling to forgive, then we will be incapable of understanding and experiencing the forgiveness of God (Matthew 6: 14-15).

Hmmm... (prepare for bombastic claim) I think Jesus hated olives too.

"I love many things, but olives... ehhhh... not so much."
2 Hesitations 2:1

Brilliant!

I thought about a library the other day. I imagined the stacks and stacks of books. I saw the dust that accompanies the thickly bound multi-volumes, which are rarely, if ever, taken off the shelf. I envisioned the rows upon rows of pages and pages of paper all containing words that tell stories, prove points and convey facts and theories. I pictured the lab rooms filled with computers now connected to libraries as far as Moscow so that we have the power to read beyond the prior limitations of time and space. I ruminated on the overwhelming amount of knowledge and thought tangibly located within the bounds of these walls and couldn't help but think, (and I think you know where I'm going with this) "No wonder people come here to party. Brilliant!"

... okay. Maybe you weren't thinking that. And if you were, I'd be surprised. The library is a place where we speak in whispers and pretend we're hard at work while checking facebook. Loud outbursts and other ruckus behaviors are often looked down upon because... well... it's a library. You go here to concentrate and think brilliantly, not launch into fits of joy.

I, however, wonder if we have lost touch with what it means to 'think brilliantly' and how we ought to respond to truly 'brilliant thought.' The original meaning of the word "brilliant" was ascribed to elements or objects that shine with such ferocious complexity that the only proper response is to stare. A brilliant star is the one that outshines the others and invites you to say, "All you other stars suck!" When something is brilliant, we notice it.

Another interesting attribute of the truly brilliant is that it comes with a little buddy named "Joy". When I say, "Joy," please don't jump to the idea of "happy." Being happy is great, but I'm thinking of something deeper. A good friend of mine once said, "Within 'JOY' are four key characteristics: gratitude, humility, awe, and mirth (humor). " Going back to the star imagery, when I see a brilliant, starry sky, I am quickly filled with an awareness of how thankful I am to see this, how small I truly am, how amazing and mysterious this world is, and how comical it is that this stuff happens even when nobody sees it.

In the face of the truly brilliant, joy should be quick to follow.

So let's go back to the library. Here I have the potential to find page after page of brilliant thoughts, yet I and those around me speak with whispers and try to keep to ourselves. Worse yet, we don't even go in or enter the conversation because we are more distracted by the brilliant, high-resolution screens on our touch-screen phones than we are with brilliant thought.

Now that I have you thoroughly confused with my ramblings and tangents, I'm going to share with you my intentions in writing this blog. I'm not an advocate for the local library. This is a call to think brilliantly and joyfully.

Read books and enter conversations with a childlike wonder that allows you to smile when it finally "clicks." Don't be further indoctrinated by the cram and regurgitate model of education and don't be hindered by the fear of looking stupid. Long for those moments when reading feels like a direct conversation with the author and after she has made her point, your natural response, laughing and with a smile on your face, is, "You son of a bitch..." Ask questions, listen to those who disagree with you, and always be looking for those flashes of brilliance that make you stop in your tracks, stare without shame, and whisper with wide eyes, "Wow..."

What if our libraries buzzed with the explosive nature of a charismatic worship service with random shouts of "Yes!" and "Holy Shit!" resounding through the stacks and stacks of books and pages?

Now is the time to be brilliant. Now is the time to be joyful. The world needs it and so do we.

CTRL+ALT+DEL

I've been in what I would call an "uneasy state" as of late. It's not that much is going wrong. The opposite is actually true. Much is going very, very right. Still, there is this internal tension that takes hold in the quiet moments of my brain and subtly nudges me toward a place of dissatisfaction with my self and with my circumstance. Allow me to clarify your mental eye by painting more color and detail into what I'm describing.

I was driving down to Paramount with my newlywed wife to watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics with some of our closest friends. We rode in silence during the breaks in conversation because I had forgotten my IPod at home and the radio tends to fail in providing musical vibe I might hope for on such a journey. These quiet moments afford me the opportunity to think upon my day.

Here's a little glimpse into my thoughts as I drove down the 605:

I forgot my IPod again. Have I really been married for over a month? It is 7 pm!? I haven't worked out in a long time. I need to make a schedule. I can't make a schedule, because there are too many random things going on. How has it already been a month!? Things will calm down soon. Oh crap! I still have to get that project done. I should really be writing again. Why do I always forget my IPod? Next Monday, the diet and exercise starts. Oh wait... I have to be at that thing on Monday. I need a routine. IT'S BEEN OVER A MONTH!?...

And on and on it goes like that. I am assuming you've had similar internal discussions with your own thoughts, hopes, and agendas. Even though none of these things are really a big deal, when I let them stack up on one another like this, I feel weighed down by a sense of failure and inadequacy. And so, in that frustration and uneasiness, I long for control.

If I can just plan it well, if I could just make a schedule, if I could just come up with a strategy and follow through, then... then I would feel better and then I would be content. Ultimately, I want my life to be completely under my omniscient and omnipotent reign.

Here is the problem. Any control I think I might have over my current circumstances can be upended and torn asunder within seconds, and this not because the changing winds blow so strong, but because my illusion of control is so fragile and easily destroyed. Most of the time when I am faced with this reality, my response is one of fear. So in that state of fear, I scramble to gather the shards and broken pieces of the control I had built and try again. After all, how can I feel safe, secure and content while knowing I am not in control?

It reminds me of the Biblical encounters between man and God. I am sure that if there was ever a time to know that you are not in control, it is when the heavens have been ripped open and before you stands a horrific and awesome messenger of God. Notice that in all these cases, the people respond with fear and trembling as their fragile houses of control have just been dashed to pieces. Yet... in each of these cases, the first words from God are, "Do not be afraid."

Interesting...

It is in the loss of control that God speaks to the irrelevance of fear...

Maybe my schedule won't save me...

Lord... We Need a Pub! (part 2)

I walk through the door and am greeted by the sound of laughter and robust conversation. There is no television on to kidnap the eyes of the crowd and the music is at just the right decibel level: quiet enough to complement any conversation, yet audible enough to inspire a sing-along. Any and all major brewery advertisement posters and memorabilia have long ago been sent to the dumpster because each beer tap handle is enough to let you know you'll be drinking something great tonight. The lighting is warm. Not too bright. Not too dim. And before I even start looking for a seat, the man behind the bar calls to me with a grin on his face and says, "Welcome to the pub. What can I get for you?" By the time I have drink in my hand, the bartender has already introduced me to three of the regulars and has caught me up on the current conversation over what is the best way to handle your finances in this day in age. By the time I gain enough courage to chime in with my own thought, one of them turns to me and says, "Finally, somebody with some sense. BARKEEP! THIS KID'S NEXT ROUND IS ON ME!"

Sound familiar? ... I know. It doesn't sound familiar to me either. This, however, is my hopeful vision of what the pub could and should be. Could you imagine a place that is so informal and welcoming that anyone could walk in and feel comfortable? Could you imagine a gathering place for people so compelling and engaging that one would be hard pressed to leave the establishment the same as when they walked in? How about a culture that loves to celebrate together and tell stories; a culture that winces at the thought of somebody sitting alone?

The reason why the world needs a pub like this is because we need each other. The good Lord made us this way. We need to have shared experience. We need people to sing with and celebrate with. We need to hear new and old ideas on life. We need to buy beers for the people with whom we disagree and clink glasses as friends, not enemies. We need an obvious location for the foreigner and outsider to get connected. Lord... we need a pub!

So if you agree with me and you believe we need this, then why don't we have it? I'd love to hear your thoughts, but my primary belief is that we don't have this pub because it is too difficult. To bring a new person into an already rolling conversation requires patience and kindness. To buy a drink for the man who just told me that my theory on this or that is "total shit," calls for a love that goes beyond the self. To be hospitable enough to consistently allow new and old to come and go is a challenge to our sense of security and comfort. A pub like this demands more than just a great location and a solid beer list. A pub like this would need the key ingredients of a people choosing to live in a radically sacrificial and counter-cultural way and a pub keeper who can set the tone for the whole community. Please read more about one of my favorite pubs in Acts 2: 42-47.

Lord... we need a pub! Not a utopia, but a pub that needs swept and mopped every night and sees good times along with the bad. A place where heaven touches down and reminds us that maybe God is fonder of us than we thought. Wasn't it Ben Franklin who said, "Beer* is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"? I don't know if Benny Boy has it quite right or if this logic fits into any church's theological doctrine, but a pub and a community like this might be the kind of proof needed for such a glorious and life-giving statement. What do you think?

Cheers mates! 

*Historians now think that Ben Franklin may have been talking about wine and not beer. This is believed to be the original quotation, "Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy." My apologies to those offended by my perpetuation of this misquoted text.

Lord... We Need a Pub! (part 1)

I hand the large and intimidating man my license. He glares at me as if to say, "You better watch yourself, buddy," but then nods his head to allow me in. Upon entering this house of libations, the thick smell of perfumes, alcohol and B.O. fills my nostrils as the gratuitous thumping of subwoofers blaring out something by Brittney Aguilera or the Black Eyed Timberlakes attacks my eardrums. I shoulder my way through the crowd of packed masses trying to not lose sight of the people I came with. By the time I get my overpriced drink, I'm left with the options of yelling a conversation with my friends, awkwardly dancing way too close to people I don't know, or sitting back (if I actually found a seat) and creepily staring at the whole scene.

Sound familiar? This has been my experience with the whole bar/club scene. You can probably guess my opinion on these establishments, but can we at least admit that these nights out never are as glamorous or fun as they are on TV or the movies?

Maybe this will be more familiar.

I walk up to the counter and order my drink. They hand it to me in a disposable cup as if to say, "Would you get out of here already," but they do it with a smile, so I accept it gladly. I find a seat at a tiny table as the sounds of steamers, blenders, and indie music fill the air. I look around and quickly realize that without the fluorescent glow of a MacBook or IPad shining on my face or the designer look of white ear buds nestled in my ears, I have unwittingly reduced myself to the awkward drinker of coffee with no other plans.

This, of course, is the publicly private experience of the coffee shop. I acknowledge that I am being dramatically negative toward these two business types, but I'm trying to make a point. Isn't it interesting that two of our primary locations for social gathering, the bar/club and the coffee shop, are not conducive for conversation... especially conversation with new people.

At the bar, I have to yell until I'm horse. At the coffee shop, I fear that I'm interrupting a study session. It's not that this is all bad, but it makes sense to me why our culture needs virtual "friends" to whom they can share their thoughts in hopes that they will be "liked."

It seems to me that we need an alternative. We need a place where music sets the mood, but politely stays in the background. A place where we can learn philosophies on life, hear stories of triumph and defeat, and gain a new understanding on any and all trivial matters. We need a place where we can learn the art of savoring. A place where everybody knows our name. Lord, help us! We need a pub.

To be continued...

Proposal Story Contest

Hey everybody!

Sara and I entered our proposal story into an online "Best Proposal Story" Contest. In order to have a chance at the Grand Prize of a free honeymoon, we have to at least be in the Top 20 by the end of this coming Monday (May 7). The Top 20 are determined by votes.

You are allowed to vote once every day (i.e. today, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday). There are only 4 days left! You can also vote once for each email account you have. So if you have two email accounts, you can vote twice a day.

To vote you will need to "log in". To log in you'll need to either register an email address or log in through facebook. If you choose facebook, you'll have to click a button that says you will "allow" this to happen. Once you have logged in, you simply find the story called "A Proposal of Puppy Proportions" and click the "vote" button underneath our picture.

I realize this is kind of a selfish blog, but we are in 20th place right now and could be passed at any moment. It will take you 5 minutes... tops! We need your votes.

Click on this link and let the voting begin.