Remember the Time...

Remember the blog I wrote last week? Well, while many of you brought up some good points about olives, one of my good friends and fellow blog writers (www.olivemepost.com) asked a very interesting question, "Do you have any advice on how to forgive? What about when we are the black olive?"

You have probably heard the expression, "Forgive and Forget." It sounds good, right? It has a nice alliteration and seems simple enough. The problem with forgetting is that, aside from a major head trauma, we can't. We cannot forget. We may be distracted from the memory for a while, but we always carry it with us. So rather than forget, we often turn to repression or denial, which only takes us down an even worse path. So forget "forgetting" and lets focus on a different concept... remembering.

Throughout the scriptures, God consistently commanded his people to remember. He told the Israelites to remember their story and where they came from so that they would not become like the oppressors that oppressed them. 

Even Jesus tells his followers to eat their bread and drink their wine in remembrance of him so that daily we would remember the forgiving, loving, and redeeming nature of our God. It is in remembering that our story becomes larger, our lives transform and we stop repeating the same old mistakes.

Similarly, when we are hurt or offended, we must remember.

- We must remember who hurt us and why it hurt.

- We must remember the ways we have hurt others in the past.

- We must remember the times we have been forgiven.

- We must remember our whole story. (The good; the bad. The blessings; the hurts.)

- We must remember that everyone has a story, including the one who hurt us. (This doesn't let them off the hook, but it reminds us of their humanity.)

- We must remember who we were before the incident happened.

- We must remember who we have become as a result of this incident.

- We must remember that our bitterness has not once gained justice or a complete sense of satisfaction.

- Finally, for those of us who are Christians, we must remember how Jesus, as he hung on the cross, responded to the angry crowds by saying, "Father forgive them... they don't know what the are doing."

"... they don't know what they are doing." It is my guess that they and we never do... at least not fully. When I hurt someone with my words or betray another with my decisions, I am incapable of knowing how deep the knife cuts. Nor do I understand fully why I am saying or doing these things in the first place. So Jesus, in his kindness and understanding, forgives. Remembering helps us unlock our potential for kindness and understanding.

Remember, this is no quick fix. In fact, it probably makes things more complicated. But I believe "remembering" is the path to true forgiveness, where we may be capable of wishing our offenders well and at last be rid of the vile olives of bitterness.