The 12 Blogs of Christmas: Part 4 "A Merry Movie List"

I think you'll all agree with me that one of the most important aspects of Christmas in our modern day and age is the movies. So rather than try to make some deep philosophical point or comical anecdote, I'd much rather give you my top ten holiday classics.

10. Scrooged - Bill Murray being haunted by Christmas ghosts? Fantastic idea! This modern (as modern as the 80's can get) retelling of the holiday classic is hilarious. Watching the ghost of Christmas Present (Carol Kane) beat the piss out of the cold-hearted Frank Cross (Bill Murray) is a must see. Plus, it ends with a sing-along.

9. A Charlie Brown Christmas - Good grief, everybody. How could I not pick this one? Charlie Brown is one of the most depressed and negative characters ever. He's the kind of guy that will tell you about the calories and carcinogens that are in the cake that you just ate. He is a total Debbie-Downer and it is hilarious! It has a great ending too.

8. Home Alone 2 - That's right! A sequel made the list, which sadly means you can already guess that the original will be as well, but stop being so smart and keep reading. Never before has there been a more perfect and inspiring union on film than the scene where Marv's face meets Kevin's bricks. Seriously, somebody call Child and Safety Services. These parents are unfit!

7. A Christmas Story - This one is good. I think it's Italian. (If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about.) This movie completely captures the small-town-Midwest Christmas scene and the dynamic of family. So good!

6. Home Alone - Listen up, you filthy animals! If you haven't seen this one in a while, do yourself a favor and rent it today before I pump your guts full of lead. 1... 2... TEN!!! Plus, did anyone else ever secretly hope that one day the pigeon lady and the shoveling old man would hook up? Just asking.

5. The Santa Clause - Tim Allen nailed it with this one. I loved it as a kid, but now I realize that many of the jokes flew over my head. It may have horrible special effects (I mean, the flying sleigh and reindeer look really bad), but I love it. I think I might love anything involving Judge Reinhold.

4. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - Honestly, the top 4 movies on this list are pretty interchangeable. They are all excellent. The Griswold family won me over with this classic a long time ago when it was played on network television. Several years later, I saw the unedited version. Guess what!? Swearing makes it even funnier. Hooray for the "shitter" being full!

3. Dr. Suess's How the Grinch Stole Christmas - I was completely surprised by this movie. I was kind of done with the overacting ways of Jim Carrey and had no interest in seeing another Christmas kids movie. Then I saw it... I was so wrong. I laughed. I cried. I started looking for snowflake properties. Please see this movie if you haven't.

2. Elf - Who doesn't love this movie? If you don't than I'm assuming you also hate Christmas and love going to the dentist. This one also makes me cry when everybody sings.

And finally, (drum roll...)

1. It's a Wonderful Life - The big winner! Jimmy Stewart could read a phone book and I would be entertained. I can understand why people might say this movie is boring and too long, but these people make me sad and pray for education reform. Definitely a tearjerker and it also has an amazing portrait at the end of how the Kingdom of God ought work.

That's the list. Feel free to agree, disagree, or add your nominations. 

The 12 Blogs of Christmas: Part 3 "O Come Emmanuel"

This blog is written with a heavy heart in response to today's tragedy. I was even hesitant to post anything about the lives lost in Connecticut considering it might be in bad taste to use such a moment in history to fill a quota for my "12 Blogs of Christmas" challenge. I post anyway, however, because it is in moments like these that I'm reminded of this world's need for a Prince of Peace. We need the words of Jesus to saturate our hearts and shape the way we live. Words like this:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

Why is this relevant for today? I think Jesus is trying to tell us that as long as we are people who get angry with our brother or sister, we have it within us to murder. It is a hard reality, but Jesus gives us some step to deal with this problem. "[If] your brother or sister has something against you... go and be reconciled," and "Settle matters quickly with your adversary." These are the words of one whose hometown was also a place where children were murdered.

So before we try to figure out where to place the blame for this tragedy, maybe we should ask ourselves if we are following the Savior's command to make peace on every level. May His Kingdom come and His will be done... we need it.

The 12 Blogs of Christmas: Part 2 "You Better Believe It!"

"He's coming to your neighborhood!"

The holiday season always reminds me of that interesting matter called, "belief." When I was a kid, I believed that, once a year, a jolly, bearded, magical man from somewhere up north who was constantly taking note of my behavior would find his way through our heating vents (we didn't have a fireplace) and deliver a good measure of toys and gifts as a return for my conscientious living. I knew these gifts were from Santa because they said my name really big on the wrapping paper as opposed to the gifts from my parents, which came with gift tags. Sure! I couldn't explain how he might get around to every home in the world, but I continued to believe all the same.

"Yay! We love Santa!"

Now, I'm 30 years old, married, and live in an apartment. An extremely well lit and decorated apartment, I might add, thanks to the good people at the Christmas section of Target. It was with this wife and in this apartment that I had explained to me the concept that Christmas presents from Santa are the ones that are unwrapped under the tree. To this I responded, in all the maturity my 30 years could offer me, with "That's stupid! He writes you name really big on a wrapped package!"

As you can probably guess, this argument could have raged for hours. Maybe you even wish to weigh in with your doctrinal stance on Santa's gifting methods, but isn't it interesting how quickly our belief becomes complicated and loaded. Somehow, my belief in Santa became nuanced and different from my wife's belief in Santa. Now, how did we respond to these differences? ... We argued. I didn't want to have a conversation because I didn't want to allow for the possibility that I was wrong... because I'm not wrong... right?

Santa ain't afraid to throw down.

Belief can be stressful. So much for peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind.

But wait! Hold on a second! That's not the Christmas spirit. It is not our beliefs in Santa that leave presents under our tree; it's Santa who leaves the presents under our tree. We may not be able to understand all his ways and probably never will, but this should not lead to conflict and frustration. There is much good in gaining knowledge and formulating opinions, but if we have lost the wonder, the awe, the magic of Santa and Christmas... well... we might have lost the whole thing.

It reminds me of this wise saying from a very old book. "Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” He obviously wasn't talking about Santa... but he was talking about something. Something that kids get and adults forget. Something we old folks make complicated and void of magic. No wonder we can argue about "wrapping paper" vs. "no wrapping paper". There is not enough magic and awe to distract us and make us the kind of people who are infectious with joy and belief.

Maybe it's time we revisit the old stories and ancient songs as we hunker down in front of the tree and get caught up in it. It's time to marvel with goofy grins and starry eyes. Tis the season!

"We've got a little holiday spirits right here. Heyo!"

The 12 Blogs of Christmas: Part 1 "The Red Nosed Redundancy"

"Good grief... another consumerist Christmas blog."

"It's Christmas time again," and I can't imagine how many blogs and articles across the nation have started off with that very expression. Lights are up, music is in the air, and people are shoveling mounds of sugar down their gullet like they're clearing a driveway of snow. Shoppers are shopping and family members are fearing that moment around the Christmas tree when that one uncle mumbles under his eggnog laden breath, "... freakin' Obama." YES! "It's Christmas time again!" As much as I would love to be original and not bank on the use of common phrase or cliché, I am at the mercy of the 12-month holiday rotation.

I remember always entering the holiday season with mixed emotions. When I was a kid it was a lot of fun and games... and presents! (Can't forget the presents!) But by the time I got midway through my college career, things were different. I certainly still loved the time off from school, time with my family, the food (and presents!!!), but I also felt a tension. As much as I loved my family, I had been growing and developing into a new person during my time away at school. I had been a leader of ministries and had the respect of my peers. Even professors were commending me for my work and for my thoughts. I was coming into my own, but my family had missed all of this. They did not read my papers or watch me go through trials and challenges. To them, I was still the eighteen year old boy that left their home in 2001 (yes... I'm that old.)

Do you see how my family smothers me?!!

This feeling of being "known, yet unknown" continued on into my mid-twenties. Thus, every time I went home for Christmas, I continued to struggle. I didn't like being 24 years old and feeling like I was 18 again. This internal frustration kept me from enjoying the holiday vacation and made me angry with those whom I love most.

"I'M DIFFERENT NOW!"
"Oh, Greg... It's time for a haircut."

Then something happened. I realized I have control of how I respond and perceive my circumstances... even at home with my family. I didn't have to fall back into my role as "youngest child" anymore. I didn't have to be who "I was." I could simply be "who I am."

You see, there is both a darkness and a beauty to the redundancy and cycle of the Christmas season. If we take the passive position and let Christmas happen to us, we leave ourselves open and vulnerable to the attack of the same bitterness, unmet expectation, and sorrow every year. This is the vicious cycle and the dark-side of redundancy. If, however, we take control of our responses and seek understanding, we can actually do Christmas better. We might even find that the actions or statements that would hurt and maim were actually coming from a place of love and can actually be received as such.

I strongly believe that there is redemption and reconciliation to be found in the redundancy. Thank God, it's Christmas time again! Although, we cannot control others and how they respond, within us a peace can be born. I pray we all find mercy in the 12-month holiday rotation.

Stay tuned for more of... THE 12 BLOGS OF CHRISTMAS!

One down. Eleven to go. heh! heh! heh!

What The Bell!?

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me... For my yoke is easy and my burden is light," (Matt 11:29-30)

Do I have any Food Network lovers in the house? Of course I do. How could you not love the Food Network? Iron Chef America? Chopped? If you don't love it, you are either way too involved in sports channels or are still trying to convince yourself that your life is better off without cable. On that last point you might be correct... maybe... but that is a blog topic for another day.

I bring it up because a few years ago I was flipping through the channels and happened to catch Rachael Ray doing her thing.  Now most of the time when I see Rachael Ray on the TV I have this overwhelming urge to say, "Hey! ... Just sit there and calm down..." (She 's a bit high energy for me.) Be that as it may, I have to admit that this woman knows her way around the kitchen and in this moment she was working with one of my favorite ingredients... the bell pepper.

"Yeah. Yeah. I said something nice. Cool it, Rachael!"

So fresh. So crisp. The bell pepper rings out with deliciousness and for me it doth toll. But this blog is not about bell peppers; it's about what Rachael did with those peppers. To prep it for chopping, she simply halved it then ripped out the guts with her hand! I KNOW, RIGHT?! MINDBLOWN!!! It took her 2 seconds!

All these years I had been delicately carving out the seeds and white stuff with a small knife while making sure I didn't get any of those tiny seeds on my hands and fingers. In that moment, it was as if Rachel had turned to me and yelled, "Come on, you pansy! Get your hands dirty! This is cooking, not ballet class!" And she was right.

"But, but... the seeds are tiny... and sticky... and... eeeee..."

What once was tedious and cumbersome was now fast and efficient because I learned how to do it properly.

So I go back to the Matthew passage I quoted at the beginning of this article. At first look, I see contradiction. A slow reading of the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5-7) will quickly reveal that Jesus' way of doing life is quite difficult. It goes against what feels natural. I am supposed to love my enemies, make things right with my adversary, give to the needy, not allow anger and lust to dictate my actions, not judge others and not worry about money, food or clothes... THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT I DO ON A REGULAR BASIS! What is easy or light about changing how I do everything???

"Maybe if we switch sides..."

Why do you think Rachael Ray on the Food Network? Could it be that she knows what she is talking about?

What if the Sermon on the Mount was not given to make our lives more difficult? What if the way we are living life is actually tedious, cumbersome, and more destructive than we think? What if Jesus actually knows what He is talking about? What if his yoke truly is easy and his burden light?

What would that say about Jesus? What does that say about us?

In conclusion... I like bell peppers.

"Heyo! Ring-a-ding-ding!"

Bills! Bills! Bills!

"... staying... calm... staying... calm..."

I used to be a little hot head when I was kid. I would get so mad at some of the dumbest things. For example, do you remember the Buffalo Bills? I realize that this team still exists, but I'm talking about THE BUFFALO BILLS (circa. 1990-93).

How a young boy from Iowa would adopt this northeastern NFL team as his own is another story, but what you need to know now is that I thought this team was the freakin' bee's knees (just dripping with honey). Names like Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Bruce Smith, and Andre Reed may mean nothing to you, but to me... these were the gods of the NFL gridiron. It was upon these men's shoulder pads that I placed my trust. They were my harbingers of happiness.

Look at 'em! Like red and blue clad knights!

You can imagine my delight when the Bills destroyed the AFC conference and walked into Super Bowl XXV ready to claim their title as NFL champions. When they lost by a last minute field goal to the New York Giants, I remember being filled with so much anger I just paced around wanting to hit things. (I'm pretty sure my mother was concerned for my mental stability.)

"The boy is crazy!"

1991 rolled around and the Bills made it to the Super Bowl again... only to lose to the Redskins. In 1992, they stormed back claiming that the third time was a charm... only to be pulverized by the stupid Dallas Cowboys 52-17. Then, somehow, in 1993, the Bills pulled together what morale they had left and once again made it to the Super Bowl... to once again lose to the Cowboys.

"You're killing me, Smalls!"

See! Don't you want to punch him?

Each loss was punishing, but the 4th Super Bowl loss was more than I could bear. I desperately wanted to punch Emmitt Smith (the Cowboys running back and probably one of the nicest guys to ever play the game) in the face and blame him for all my pain and suffering. He was the devil!

Yep... I had issues

I felt betrayed. This had to be a conspiracy. Jim Kelly had failed me. Thurman Thomas didn't come through. Bruce Smith might as well have stayed home. And don't get me started on Andre Reed! They broke my heart, and the Dallas Cowboys still make me cringe. I was so disheartened that I never watched a Buffalo Bills game again... seriously!

Now, was all of this a bit extreme? Absolutely! I was a stupid kid who placed so much of his identity and hope for happiness on the outcome of an unpredictable game that I was crushed. The Bills played their best, but not good enough to win that day.

The funny thing is that if the Bills had won, my life would be no different. I may have been happy for a day or two and felt affirmed in my choice of loyalties, but nothing in my life that matters would have actually changed for the better. I realize that this entry was a bit random, but it seemed like a good time of year to tell a story about placing one's hopes and dreams on a team full of fallible humans... you know... because it's football season.

"Hey, Normy! I think Greg's trying to say something without sayin' it."
"Heh! Heh! Heh!"

Go... Sip Away!

You want to know what I love? Before you get too cutesy with your guesses, I'll just tell you. I love pop... or soda... or Coke... or whatever your location of America calls this bubbly, syrupy and tasty beverage. It is so freaking good! Just one sip and you can't stop. The way it feels as it crosses your tongue... it's magical! I am not kidding you; there have been moments in my life where a can of Mt. Dew has felt like I gift from the heavens. Just listen a freshly poured soda. It sounds like applause.

Yaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!! The crowd goes wild!

But despite what the more academically accomplished cousin of Mr. Pibb will tell you, soda is NOT what the doctor ordered. Soda is bad. It is so bad for you. It messes up your teeth and it's loaded with calories, sugar and chemicals. It's basically liquefied candy that somehow became socially acceptable to drink with meals.

Remember! This is not a health blog. This news about soda makes me very sad and even a bit angry.  How could something so good be so bad?! Yet even though I know how horrible this nectar of the gods may be... I keep sipping. I sip and I sip again. And then I get a refill. At least with beer you start to feel a little full after a while. With pop, a 32 oz cup can be considered a MEDIUM! Somehow you can just keep sipping.

... saddest picture I've ever posted. I'M SORRY, MT. DEW!!! 

On a related note (because I just love these spiritual parallels), I have also noticed how much I love to run my mouth. Doesn't it feel so good to start sentences with "Did you hear about..." or "Don't tell him I told you this but..." Then you get to bubble over with juicy details.

My words about other people taste even sweeter when I have been hurt by them. I get to say, "I can't believe he said..." or  "These people really need to...." Mmm Mmm Mmm! I just love the way the words feel across my tongue. I revel in declaring my judgments behind backs that I would never have the courage to say to faces.

"He said whaaaat???"

Well, we have another problem here. Guess what? ... Gossip and slander fall into that whole "sin" category, which is not good for you or anyone. Its damaging and toxic.

And aren't we hilarious? We Christian types love to rename our carbonated utterances as "venting" or "healthy honesty". It's kind of like how we slap "Diet" on the side of a can and believe it is somehow good for us. There may be a time and place for venting, but that should be with somebody who is trustworthy, wise and won't agree with us all the time.

The real problem is that these words and condemnations can actually poison us. Jesus even says, "It's not what goes into the mouth, but what comes out that makes one clean or unclean." He knew how these "diet ventings" show the character of our hearts, impact our communities and shape our lives. "Don't be dull!" (Matt 15:16). We need to quit this stuff and we need to quit it fast.

But it's not going to be easy. How do you not take a sip when you have 42 ounces of the juicy stuff right there in your hand? Well... come on down to Wallace's Pub, grab a beer and lets start by talking about it. Maybe we'll discover that this kind of constructive chatter is actually refreshing and won't leave you with a weird taste in your mouth.

Hear! Hear!