 |
| "Good grief... another consumerist Christmas blog." |
"It's Christmas time again," and I can't imagine
how many blogs and articles across the nation have started off with that very
expression. Lights are up, music is in the air, and people are shoveling mounds
of sugar down their gullet like they're clearing a driveway of snow. Shoppers
are shopping and family members are fearing that moment around the Christmas
tree when that one uncle mumbles under his eggnog laden breath, "...
freakin' Obama." YES! "It's Christmas time again!" As much as I
would love to be original and not bank on the use of common phrase or cliché, I
am at the mercy of the 12-month holiday rotation.
I remember always entering the holiday season with mixed
emotions. When I was a kid it was a lot of fun and games... and presents!
(Can't forget the presents!) But by the time I got midway through my college
career, things were different. I certainly still loved the time off from
school, time with my family, the food (and presents!!!), but I also felt a
tension. As much as I loved my family, I had been growing and developing into a
new person during my time away at school. I had been a leader of ministries and
had the respect of my peers. Even professors were commending me for my work and
for my thoughts. I was coming into my own, but my family had missed all of
this. They did not read my papers or watch me go through trials and challenges.
To them, I was still the eighteen year old boy that left their home in 2001
(yes... I'm that old.)
 |
| Do you see how my family smothers me?!! |
This feeling of being "known, yet unknown"
continued on into my mid-twenties. Thus, every time I went home for Christmas,
I continued to struggle. I didn't like being 24 years old and feeling like I
was 18 again. This internal frustration kept me from enjoying the holiday
vacation and made me angry with those whom I love most.
 |
| "I'M DIFFERENT NOW!" "Oh, Greg... It's time for a haircut." |
Then something happened. I realized I have control of how I
respond and perceive my circumstances... even at home with my family. I didn't
have to fall back into my role as "youngest child" anymore. I didn't
have to be who "I was." I could simply be "who I am."
You see, there is both a darkness and a beauty to the
redundancy and cycle of the Christmas season. If we take the passive position
and let Christmas happen to us, we
leave ourselves open and vulnerable to the attack of the same bitterness, unmet
expectation, and sorrow every year. This is the vicious cycle and the dark-side
of redundancy. If, however, we take control of our responses and seek
understanding, we can actually do Christmas better. We might even find that the
actions or statements that would hurt and maim were actually coming from a
place of love and can actually be received as such.
I strongly believe that there is redemption and
reconciliation to be found in the redundancy. Thank God, it's Christmas time
again! Although, we cannot control others and how they respond, within us a peace
can be born. I pray we all find mercy in the 12-month holiday rotation.
Stay tuned for more of... THE 12 BLOGS OF CHRISTMAS!
 |
| One down. Eleven to go. heh! heh! heh! |
Greg, you nailed it on the head. My sister and I have had so many conversations about this same thing. Now, we try to talk and pray together before we go home and then discuss after how things went. It also helps that we have our husbands with us now, because they know how we've grown and who we've become and can keep us accountable for when we fall back into old habits.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing and God bless you as you step into your family time this year!
~Aubrey
Good stuff, Aubrey. It definitely helps to not do this alone.
DeleteThe first few lines made me laugh out loud at work today. Thanks Greg!
ReplyDeleteMy family has learned not to dog Obama when we're home for the holidays. But, that wasn't really the point of your blog . . . Spent many years believing my family had no dysfunction. First realized that I had dysfunction (is that the physchological term for sin?) though you'd be hard-pressed to get me to admit it out loud. Then realized that my family, who really is quite awesome, had dysfunction. At any rate, I think that was part of what was happening in my 20's as I went home -- this realization. I'm different than my fam AND all of us are messy. We are at a way better place now -- much more capable of accepting each other. I think my parents and sisters spent a few years going, "Wow, what's up with J?" And, truth is, I did the same to them. I agree with Aubrey, too, that it helps to bring home a spouse. I sorta hate saying that because it seems just a tad cruel to all my single friends.
ReplyDeleteSo it almost sounds like this could be part of the developmental part of the 20s. And you are right. Bringing somebody into the chaos with you has a way of keeping you based in reality.
Delete